I know a senior leader who believes that people are motivated by just 3 things – Fear, Greed and Sex.
I don’t know if he holds any religious views but his beliefs about motivation shape his behaviour as strongly as any spiritual ones could. Maybe more so.
Something in his background or upbringing taught him this belief and confirmation bias has reinforced it. That’s how beliefs work.
He doesn’t like being challenged on it, so he discourages pushback. That’s also how some beliefs work. They only listen to those that agree with them.
Most of our beliefs are subconscious – not just religious or spiritual beliefs but any deeply held, unchallenged assumptions about how people and the world work. It’s those invisible beliefs that make us who we are.
The beliefs that people are very conscious of – like religious beliefs – aren’t the problem here, it’s the ones you don’t know you have that cause problems.
Dogmas. Fed by confirmation bias.
The problems come when your beliefs stop you thinking, or listening to a different viewpoint.
When you believe you don’t have anything to learn you stop learning.
Openness is an important trait for leadership, so it’s worth cultivating in your personal life. In your self.
Openness is, at its core, willingness to see or listen to multiple viewpoints.
The challenge for people who aren’t open minded is they usually don’t realize it. They’re just convinced they’re right about things. Or that others are wrong.
There’s an important practical reason why effective democracies have parliaments that meet and debate issues. They’re not afraid to listen to the other side and shape outcomes before voting. Better results ensue. They don’t enjoy debating but they know it produces the best outcomes.
Dictatorships fail and their societies stagnate because they don’t have to listen. Different views are a threat.
“..when you believe you don’t have anything to learn you stop learning..”
When were you last convinced to change your mind on an important issue?Are so smart you never have to debate anything?
How do you feel when someone challenges your ideas? Not someone senior to you, but someone in your team, or outside your circle of trust?
Do you know anyone who challenges your ideas?
Do you seek different opinions or seek confirmation?
How do you use social media? Do you include opposing or uncomfortable views in your social media feed, or do you block them? How many people do you follow who you don’t agree with? If the answer is none, maybe you’re not as open as you think.
The good news is that improving your openness is easy. You just need to build the habit of listening.
Not just saying so but actually listening. Putting yourself where you will be challenged.
Defending your point if needed, but also listening to the other side.
Add some different views to your social media feed.
Refusing to consider adopting a different religious or political belief is maybe understandable and certainly common.
Refusing to consider a different approach to solving a problem is a refusal to learn.
Listening more to others requires you to listen less to your own ego. That can be hard. It takes courage.
That pain in your head when someone disagrees with you is your brain learning new things.
Don’t be afraid of it, embrace it – like the pain of exercising unused muscles.
How often do you feel that pain?
Do you avoid it or embrace it?
Like my “fear, greed and sex” colleague do you only listen to those who agree with you?
What beliefs do have that you’re afraid to challenge?
What do you believe?
.
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“I might be wrong, but at least I’ve thought about it…”