The final post in our series on making Values work for you covers the 5th most popular, yet most mysterious Value – Respect.
Respect is unique as a Value because almost everybody wants it but few want to give it, at least not freely…
Respect and Humility are often confused – but they’re not the same. It’s possible to be humble without respect and respectful without humility. The difference is simple:
Humility is how I think about myself.
Respect is how I think about other people.
Respect in a team is important, not just because it promotes harmony but because it accelerates Learning.
Here’s how it works: If I don’t respect you there’s an automatic door that closes in my mind towards what you say or do. This is why political or religious fundamentalists demonize their opponents. If you’re worthless so are your views. I’m immune from them.
When I respect you the same door is opened. What you say gets considered. What you know can now be shared. Learning starts.
A poor leader shows respect selectively – or reciprocally. People have to “earn” it.
A good leader gives respect first, before it’s earned. A good leader encourages an attitude of “giving respect” in their team, because they know the team works better and learns more.
A touch of humility helps…
“Respect in a team is important, not just because it promotes harmony but because it accelerates Learning..”
Giving respect to someone smarter or stronger or superior to you is easy.
Giving respect to someone weaker than you or below you is charitable, but also not hard.
Giving respect to someone who is a rival, or who’s views you disagree with, is difficult. The most valuable respect is that which is hard to give, to respect someone you don’t like, or who disagrees with you, or is junior to you.
That’s why it should be a Value, not a reward..
Respect can be seen in behaviors.
Do you listen to people?
Do you criticize or punish when someone makes a mistake?
Do you “bite your tongue” and not always say what you think?
Respect can be the decider.
Respect is not a sign of weakness it’s a sign of strength.
Try it.
